The inability to do everything when you want to do nothing.
It’s hard being an all-or-nothing kind of person. Some people deal with it by being “all” people, the stars, the go-getters. Some people, like me, are “nothing” people, finding difficulty in doing anything if they can’t do everything.
I’m currently struggling with the idea of doing a bit of everything. I normally go through phases where my office is immaculately clean, but my bedroom has a giant pile of dirty clothes and an unmade bed. Or maybe I’m taking exquisite care to thoroughly stretch my back and legs in the morning and at night, but the food I eat is pretty much garbage.
This month, I am working on balance. Maybe I do a quick stretching routine in the morning, say, 10 minutes instead of 30. Then I’ll have a quick breakfast, maybe not the healthiest in the world, but a bit more nutritive compared to my usual buttered toast and coffee (or my even more usual meal of nothing). I’m not striving for perfection. I just want to tick the to-do boxes in my head.
I find it hardest to strike this balance when it comes to work. I love what I do. I’m obsessed. Sometimes it’s hard to stop, and sometimes it’s hard to get started in the morning when I know things won’t be exactly as I want them to be. That’s OK. OK isn’t perfection. OK is OK. What’s worse than OK is nothing, no effort, not trying.
So every single day, whether I feel like it’s a great day, whether I feel like a total failure, I try to tick those to-do boxes in my head. And overall, averaged out, the balance looks pretty good.