I’ve decided that this blog post will be completely unedited because I don’t want to second-guess what I’m saying or how I’m saying it. Also, WordPress looks very different from the last time I was here, and I don’t want to take too much time right now learning how to properly format this post. So it’ll be interesting to see what this ends up actually looking like.

So anyway, where have I been? That’s kind of a weird question, come to think of it. I’ve been right here all along. Physically at least. Ok, I’ll cut to the chase: without going into really any detail at all, I had what I can only describe as a mental breakdown in the middle of 2018. The main, immediate effects of it lasted for several weeks, but I’m still feeling the lingering effects of it even today. Although I “recovered” within just a few months, it has taken me until now to tell anyone outside of my immediate family.

I wanted to come back for the 2018 holiday season. I didn’t. Then I thought I could come back in June 2019, marking one year of absence. I didn’t. Then that year’s holiday season. Then the pandemic started, and I thought it would look like I was trying to capitalize on the fact that people were practically forced into online shopping. Logically I know that no one would actually think that, but that’s where self-doubt gets you.

So why now? I don’t know, really. I’m finally starting to clean out my office/workshop, throwing out expired ingredients (virtually all of them), clearing away the debris of three years of using the space for little more than a dumping ground for my other junk. I can tell you that, even though I feel emotionally strong enough to do that now, I was sobbing throwing away my precious fragrance blends and essential oils. Not only because of the hundreds of dollars’ worth of ingredients, but because of the time wasted. Those oils could have been used to make me happy, and make other people happy. I’m crying while I’m writing this.

I don’t think now is the time to start up Molly Rose Balms again. I sort of put out a call on the MRB Instagram and Facebook page, asking whether anyone would be interested if I came back. My friends kindly told me that they would be interested, and to follow my passion. However, due to the nature of social media’s algorithms, I don’t think many (if any) people saw the post outside of my friend circle (seriously what was wrong with a chronological timeline???). I just don’t want to put in the time and effort to market on social media anymore. I guess I’m stuck in this middle ground of wanting to make things and share them, and not really wanting to actually run a business. At least for now. The other thing is cost. Molly Rose Balms has never made a profit. I did it because I love it. And right now, I absolutely cannot justify the cost of buying all new ingredients, packaging, etc.

Having said all that, I have thought about new ways to market. Maybe YouTube videos about the production process? TikTok? I briefly thought about streaming, but my internet connection is laughable in its consistency. Any and all suggestions are welcome!

So, I just wanted to say, I’m here. I’m still trying to figure things out, and i’m definitely not going to post as consistently as I used to, but I’m going to try to… do something. I don’t know what that means yet, but I’ll figure it out.

Until next time. Molly

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