As we hit the slippery slope towards the end of the year, life hits a rapid pace… and I find what I’ve been looking for.

I’m currently working at a pace that most people would consider downright leisurely. I have just about a week and a half before the first of three festivals within a four-week period. If you’ve been keeping up with my blog this year, you’ll know that I haven’t done any other shows whatsoever this year. To be fair, I haven’t done much of anything this year due to several reasons, depression and physical ailments being chief among them. Last month, I was lucky enough to go on a four-day vacation to the beach. Too much sun, too much fun, and too much food really restored me. I felt recharged.

Until I got home.

Everything was the same. Of course, I didn’t logically expect to come home and for miracles to have occurred, but it’s still a shock to go from sunshine to dark and dismal, clean to old and gray, peace and quiet to yelling and responsibility. On vacation, I had a reason to hop out of bed in the morning. At home, staying in bed is my only means of escape.

This is the part on the story where you might expect me to say that I realized I’d never change my circumstances unless I got to work on my goals and give myself the freedom I need. Well, that’s sort of right, but not exactly. What really happened is that I have these shows coming up, and I have to prepare for them. That’s it. I set up this project for myself months ago and now I’m working on it. That’s all it took for me to get off my butt and start working.

If you read my New Year’s resolutions, you’ll know that one of my goals was to work on the fear that keeps me from developing as a businesswoman. It keeps me from developing as a person in general. But I’m realizing now that a simple lack of a deadline is just as detrimental, if not more so. For example, one of the things that I’ve wanted to do practically since starting Molly Rose Balms is to sell my products in brick-and-mortar shops as well as my online store. To do that, I obviously have to go to the owners of these shops and pitch my products. Now, I do have fear. I do have that voice in my head saying Your products are terrible! Who the hell wants that crap in their shop? It doesn’t matter how many people rave about them; the voice knows best. But what I’m starting to understand is that without a deadline, and actual concrete imperative target in place, and with no one to answer to, I don’t function. Once I actually get those contacts (let alone those contracts), I’ll be fine. I’ll be golden! I just. Need. To. DO IT.

I feel like the clouds have parted. Ok,  maybe not totally, but they definitely are parting. I don’t want to push it off any longer. I need to get through these next few weeks, and I’ll hopefully still have steam to power through the difficult step of DOING what I need to do. We’ll see just how positive I’m still feeling then.

In the meantime, come and see me! These are the festivals I’m exhibiting at (tell me you saw this blog post and there’ll be a cheeky discount in it for you!):

Hyattsville Arts & Ales Festival
September 23rd 12pm-6pm
5000 Rhode Island Avenue, Hyattsville, Maryland
Website | Directions

2nd Annual Autumn Wellness Festival
September 30th 10am-4pm
Smile Herb Shop
4908 Berwyn Rd, College Park, Maryland | Directions

16th Annual Pigtown Festival
October 14th 12pm-7pm
700-900 Blocks of Washington Blvd, Baltimore, Maryland
Website | Directions

~M